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Pay You Back

by Deepfake

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1.
Verse 1 Alice Jackson, don't let it get you down now. I don't know you, so maybe I'm just projecting, but anyhow... If you're feeling like you just can't take it, Well, I'd go crazy, but maybe you can fake it. Alice Jackson, I never said I gave good advice. Verse 2 Alice Jackson, you know there's someone starving somewhere. We should be grateful, but I admit that I really don't care. I mean maybe in some abstract way, But I'd rather have a drink at the end of the day. Alice Jackson, I guess I've just gotten too cynical. Chorus See the thing is, I don't know - Burn too hot or let yourself get cold. Nobody wants to look like a fool, I've made my choice, but this one's up to you. Verse 3 Alice Jackson, no one said it would be easy - Maybe your parents and your friends and that show you watch on TV. I'm not trying to be that guy, But no one's handing out perfect lives. Alice Jackson, you know I'm not one to talk.
2.
Verse 1 Hiking on the Kazakhstani steppe - Ran into this joker I met At a bar in my hometown - Hey, it's a small world now and that's why no one is ever alone. Pre-Chorus No one is ever alone. No one is ever alone. Well, I'm sorry to say The rules were written this way And so no one is ever alone. Chorus I'm sorry, please, It's all coming out wrong. All I'm saying is that sometimes We all got to be on our own For a little while, just for a little while. Verse 2 Found a spot on the Antarctic waste - Someone said, "Hey, man, I know your face! Aren't you a friend of a friend of that guy from way back when?" And I almost said "No one is ever alone." Pre-Chorus Chorus Verse 3 Spent the winter in a Bengali sublet. Thought in a crowd, I'd be anonymous, until someone screamed so loud, "Hey, look at who I found!" That because no one is ever alone. Pre-Chorus Chorus
3.
Verse 1 All these fashion magazines where do they come from? Did your rich guy boyfriend give you money to start one? That’s how it goes It’s all who you know. At least all of us losers Tell ourselves that. Chorus Ambition and resentment are killing me. I might as well as move to LA if I can’t abide in civilization. Verse 2 Everybody wants to win I think that’s the problem. The rat race goes back to ancient Babylon. My ziggaraut Can’t fucking be topped! Hey, screw you, Dave, mine’s got a flat screen. Chorus Verse 3 Thought I’d read a few sutras to figure things out. They said, dharma, karma, samsara but I was still in doubt. I got what they meant I mean it does make sense. But holy shit nirvana sounds kind of boring. Chorus
4.
Happiness 03:55
Chorus x2 Once upon a time I thought, Life would come to me, Life would come to me. Verse 1 Standing in line at the Angelika - I saw you standing in line, You looked bored there waiting. Calling up your friend on the telephone - Oh, I felt like a creep, But I just kept staring. Pre-Chorus Oh, no, but I didn’t talk to you, Oh, no, I guess that’s not my style. Chorus x2 Verse 2 You were sitting on the train Sunday afternoon, Right across from me - I knew the book you were reading. Wracking my brain for a clever remark, But just when I got up, Oh, this must be your station. Pre-Chorus Chorus x2 Bridge But it just keeps getting further away as I get older. I don’t know if that’s true, but all the things that I do Well, they’re just making me colder. Pre-Chorus Oh, no, but I didn’t talk to you, Oh, no, I guess that’s not my style. Chorus x2 Verse 3 It all started I remember it was back at school, You sat a few rows from me - I spent most of class sleeping. Just off the night shift and half-delirious, But you smiled at me - Maybe I was just dreaming. Pre-Chorus Oh, no, but I didn’t talk to you, Oh, no, I guess that’s not my style. Chorus x2
5.
Verse 1 Klonopin and Paxil get me in to work on time - or not. It’s so much less stressful. Whether I’m an hour late or still in bed I can’t relate to people packing into the 4 train at 8 o’clock. I stopped feeling like I had to do everything or anything. I’m so chilled out, I guess I’m sane now. Chorus I’m so mellow that I might rot. I used to worry, now I just sleep a lot. But I remember before - man, I was a wreck. Klonopin and Paxil - that’s the secret to my success. Verse 2 It’s crazy what I’ll sleep through, a bomb could be going off on my block and later search and rescue would find that I was sound asleep, unharmed beneath a rubble heap. Even when I’m working it’s like I’m floating above the room. By noon, I’ve had five cups of coffee By three I’ll crash, just clear my cache and zone out til the boss comes past. Chorus I’m so mellow that I might rot I used to worry, now I just sleep a lot. But I remember before - man, I was a wreck. Klonopin and Paxil - I should’ve read up on the side effects. Bridge They say it’s brain chemistry, but they don’t even know what the fuck that means. I guess God sentenced me to the next fifty years in line at the pharmacy. Verse 3 Maybe if I moved to a cabin in the woods I could deal with all my issues. But suddenly I start to think that I’d die alone choking on a grape. What else is there to do? I could try to meditate or paint some watercolor landscapes. Then in the end, yeah I could send unwanted gifts to all my friends. Chorus I’m so mellow that I might rot I used to worry, now I just sleep a lot. But I remember before - man, I was a wreck. Klonopin and Paxil - at least I quit cigarettes.

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released February 25, 2017

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Deepfake New York, New York

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